"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at."
"Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off."
Chi Chi Rodriguez'
"The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"
US Open Commentator
“One minute you’re bleeding. The next minute you’re hemorrhaging. The next minute you’re painting the Mona Lisa.”